Godspeed

A thousand apologies for the late post. 

 

Could you forgive me

If I gave into the burning

Pressure

Aching in my lungs

(Can you blame me for trying to cut it out?)

Could you forgive me once you find

A crumpled note covered in my desperate

Fingerprints

Smudged ink

Ripped edges

Crossed out mistakes

(A non-perfectionist even in death)

Even as your heart aches, mends, and heals

Would I be that lacuna in your life

Leaving you

Trapped

(In that all too common web of grief and despair that wraps itself slowly around your neck until you can no longer breathe and every shaky inhalation brings a fresh wave of anxiety and fear)

Don’t worry.

You’ll get out.

Everyone

Does.

But I didn’t. Maybe that’s the problem.

Maybe for some people

There is no exit sign

Glowing

Like some forlorn beacon of hope

In the dark movie theater of life

(Equally full of weak platitudes and the flickering of bad manners)

(So we made our own exit: the knife, a handful of pills, a lonely strand of rope hanging from some crooked branch of long abandoned trees

begging to be noticed but at the same time hoping that nobody looks in our direction while we’re falling apart)

Can you possibly comprehend how

Hard

It is?

I don’t think you can.

So I’m not asking you to understand

Can you forgive me

When I’m gone

For good

On the last adventure

Will you

Wish me

Godspeed?

 

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Published by

Kalsooni

Hey! Kalsooni Allskye here, sometimes known as Cattydragon. To introduce myself ... I'm generally a very sarcastic person prone to sudden musings in the middle of dull conversations as well as that mad dash for some paper and pen when a sudden idea hits. I enjoy a great deal of music and reading, but I don't so much enjoy social outing. So there you go! A bit 'bout me.

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